


A Flightless Bird and a Killer

by CarnivalofBrokenDolls (yourrhinestoneeyes)



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Drama, Ed has issues, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Illness, Oswald has a lot of issues, Season 2, a lot of sadness, cured Oswald, diverting from canon, slight romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-23 11:25:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9654755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourrhinestoneeyes/pseuds/CarnivalofBrokenDolls
Summary: Ed feels partially responsible for what happened to Oswald when he was in Arkham, that is why he has an impossible time turning the former kingpin away when he turns up on his doorstep. That and a lingering romantic attraction to the other man.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> What if Ed hadn't turned Oswald away?

There had only been two times that Ed had risked going to visit Penguin while he was locked away in Arkham. His other self told him there was no reason to risk getting caught themselves, but Oswald had been their friend, and Ed had a curiosity about what was going on with Dr. Strange running the local Victorian mad house.

The first time he had gone to visit him things seemed normal, normal by Gotham standards. 

They were given very little privacy in the room where they met, armed guards standing near both doors and a few near the table where the two men were seated and catching up. Oswald did admittedly look worn out, he looked like he’d gotten little to no sleep, and like he’d possibly been crying. Ed still wasn’t too sure how he felt about seeing the kingpin crying, but he was getting accustomed to it.

“This place is absolute hell Ed.” He had confessed to him as he raked his fingers back through greasy unkempt hair.

“I wish there was something I could do to help, you aren’t crazy so I don’t know why they have you in here.”

The small man let out a forced sort of a laugh, an annoyed look on his face as he looked up at his friend.

“Well frankly I would consider myself deeply disturbed if I were anybody else. They keep injecting me with things, they won’t tell me what.”

Ed’s brow furrowed at that, he placed his hands on the table and leaned forward slightly.

“What sort of things?”

Oswald rolled his eyes, “I just told you that I don’t know.”

“How does it make you feel?”

The black-haired man looked around the room with nervous eyes then back up at Ed who was still leaning in towards him.

“Shaky, makes me feel like I’m going to vomit, occasionally I will pass out from whatever the hell it is. Mostly I feel like I have no control over my body, it makes my emotions feel off. You need to get me the hell out of here.”

Ed placed a hand over Oswald’s, only for a few seconds. He knew the guards would yell at him if they caught him leaving a lingering touch on the inmate, but Oswald needed the contact and Edward wanted to show him sort sign of reassurance.

“I’m doing what I can, but things are a bit tricky at the moment. I believe that Jim Gordon suspects I murdered Ms. Kringle and the others, I don’t know what I’ll be able to do.”

“Something and Ed….If you do get the chance would you be a darling friend and take out Gordon for me? He’s the reason I’m here after all.”

Ed gave the smaller enraged man a smile, a smile that made most people regard Ed as a freak or a lunatic, but to Oswald the smile was endearing.

That was the last time Ed remembered seeing Oswald, the Oswald he had come to know over the months they had shared an apartment together that was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update, hopefully update my other fic and write some other one shots.

Upon his second visit to Arkham asylum, Ed found a different man than the one he had grown to know over the months. This time the guards refused his firm request to sit in the lunch room with Oswald so that they could visit and catch up. Instead he had to speak to the smaller man through bars.

When Ed reached the small, cramped, and bare cell that caged the normally vengeful bird he found a different person. He knew before Oswald even looked his direction that something was wrong. The other man was curled up on the twin sized mattress in the cell, he had his legs pulled up against his body, arms wrapped tightly around them, and he slowly rocked himself back and forth. Ed had seen this behavior before.

‘Yeah it’s what you used to do when dad would beat the hell out of us.’ A taunting voice whispered in his mind.

Ed shook his head attempting to rid the voice. He wrapped his fingers around the thick black metal bars as he stared in at his friend.

“Oswald,” he spoke his name gently yet firm.

Oswald paused in his rocking, his body slowly but surely relaxed as he lifted his head and looked towards the voice speaking his name. There was something unsettling broken in his normally bright excited eyes. Ed watched as the other man got off of the bed and limped over towards the bars that separated them, he placed his shaky sweaty hands over Ed’s gripping tightly. 

“Edward you’re here, I-I didn’t think I’d see you again.” 

Ed wasn’t sure this was even the same person.

‘They did a number on him, didn’t they? Christ look at him he won’t stop shaking.’

“What did they do to you?”

He was sure to keep his tone gentle, he talked to the older man as if he were talking to a frightened stray.

Oswald ran his tongue over his chapped lips, his eyes darted nervously behind him as if someone were spying on them. The only people that Ed was aware of watching them were the two armed guards at both ends of the hallway.

“They…..They get inside my head and they keep giving me these shots. Ed I feel like I’m losing myself or p-perhaps this is good, are they helping me?”

He felt nails biting into his hands, but kept them in place. 

“You look like shit.”

Oswald laughed, “I haven’t seen a mirror in days, but I bet you’re right.”

The shorter man gave another nervous look behind him until leaning in until his face was pressed against the bars, “Ed, the doctor here he has a machine. There is this drug that he uses on me and, he….I saw myself killing my mother Ed.” He whispered to him.

Ed felt himself tense at the words, there was a panic in his friend’s voice that made him uneasy.

“Oswald what are you talking about, Tabitha killed her.”

“I-I know that, but…. Strange, he showed me, it was, it was so terrible Ed. I’m not sure if I can handle another second here, I feel like my brain is going to explode. I wake up to the sounds of screaming and I want it to stop and then I realize it’s me and there are these images in my mind that I cannot make go away.”

‘Wow he really has earned his place in the mad house. Christ dude let’s just cut our losses and leave’

“Oswald listen to me, you aren’t insane. You don’t belong in a place like this and whatever drugs they are giving you and the things they are telling you are wrong. What happened to your mother wasn’t your fault, you did what you could to save her.”

Oswald shook his head in denial of the words his friend spoke.

If he could try and smack some sense into him he would try, but the bars were preventing that tactic. Frankly Ed wasn’t entirely sure how to handle this, how to handle Oswald, or the panic that was causing the tension in his chest.

“Ed please….”

Please what, there was such a pain in his voice. 

‘Don’t you just want to snap his neck, put us both out of this misery.’

“I’m still trying to find a way to get you out of here, there is no way in Hell what they’re doing to you is ethical.”

“Nobody cares what happens to someone like me, I brought this upon myself Ed.” Oswald confessed.

He watched as tears fell from the smaller man’s eyes, his lower lip quivered as he let out a shuddering breath. For some inexplicable reason, Ed wished he could kiss him, kiss his tears away, and hold him.

‘He’s broken, we could get further with him than we did with Kristen.’

“Time’s up.” A guard barked out as he approached Ed.

“I promise I’ll do something.” Ed assured him as he pulled his hands from the older man’s grasp.

As he followed the guard down the hall he would glance back over his shoulder at the cell that held the small flightless bird. He couldn’t shake the image of his shaking form from his mind, he knew whatever it was that they were doing to him that it was absolutely destroying the person who he shared an apartment with.


	3. Chapter 3

Ed didn’t see Oswald again until the smaller man showed up at his door. He had to admit it had been quite the surprise to have him show up, the condition that he showed up in only added to Ed’s surprise. He had opened the door to find what once used to be a small yet powerful man now standing before him coated with tar and white feathers that clung to his face, hair, and clothing. Despite the state of his physical being he still grinned up at Ed, a strangely innocent light to his eyes. Ed only had slight hesitation about inviting him inside, it was due to not knowing how to approach this.

‘He’s dead.’ 

The fact that Oswald harbored no more hatred towards Butch or Tabitha was a bit on the unnerving side, Ed even felt a bit of disgust within the pit of his stomach at the news.

‘Get him out of here, we have business to attend, and this brain washed monkey is trying to convert us.’

No, he couldn’t throw him out, Oswald was his friend. He had told him how to properly dispose of bodies, given Ed the names of some very helpful men and women who sold Ed supplies he needed for his bigger crimes. 

‘Throw him out before I force you to put a bullet in his brain.’

“Is everything alright?” Oswald asked noticing the sudden tension that had come over his friend.

Ed shook his head hoping in vain that the small action could rid the voice from his head. The last thing that he needed was to disassociate, to leave that part of himself alone with Oswald. He still wasn’t entirely sure what was wrong with his friend and he admittedly had been so wrapped up in his crime spree that he had put off looking more into the type of medicine that Hugo Strange was practicing.

“Yes, everything is fine, do you have a place to stay?” Ed assured, he gave a tight lipped smile that hardly passed as reassurance.

Oswald’s smile faltered and he averted his eyes now looking towards the wooden floor.

“N-no I don’t actually, I can’t go back to my mom’s apartment since it’s already been rented out to a new family, and well my finances weren’t exactly my own.” He admitted sounding more than guilty.

Ed felt sick about it. 

He shouldn’t have let them arrest Oswald in the first place, he shouldn’t have gotten so wrapped up in his own criminal lifestyle that he forgot about his one and only friend. 

“Here, you can stay here, with me. That is if you’re comfortable with that, stay as long as you need to.”

Oswald smiled up at him, Ed felt like he didn’t know him anymore. Not exactly, he pondered if Oswald had been a bit like this before. Back when he’d been a kid, before Gotham managed to seep into his veins like the disease that it is, it was the same disease that turned Ed into what he was today. 

‘It isn’t a disease, he on the other hand is a disease. He’s going to infect us.’ 

Ed could feel the heavy presence of his other self, he felt that familiar chill shoot down his spine. If he looked back over his shoulder he was almost certain that he would see that version of himself that he both loved and loathed watching from the corner. The last thing he needed now was to deal with that, he certainly didn’t need Oswald knowing about that part of himself.

‘Why, do you think he’s going to judge us? Look at him, like he’s one to judge on craziness.’

“Are y-you sure about that, I don’t mean to intrude, and these are the only clothes they gave me when I left there. I know that you’re busy a-and that the last thing you need right now is to wo-worry over me.”

He placed his hands on Oswald’s shoulders squeezing slightly, “Oswald it’s perfectly fine, I want you to stay with me. If I’m being perfectly honest here it’s been odd not having you staying with me, I feel like this is the least that I can do for you.”

Could he have kept this from happening?

There was no way that simple therapy could do this to a person. Electroshock therapy was a possibility, it could cause a drastic change in behavior, but Oswald seemed very bright and responsive. He was too alive to be the victim of electroshock therapy sessions. He had mentioned before on the two times that Ed had seen him that they had been pumping him full of some sort of drug, something that made him hallucinate.

Ed was surprised when Oswald hugged him. He buried his face against Ed’s chest, arms wrapped firmly around the taller man’s waist, Ed held him back not minding the dirt that was now smearing onto his previously clean clothes.

‘He’s like a dog; remember that dog we had when we were little? Dad found him, took him out back and shot him in front of us.’

Ed closed his eyes, he placed a hand on the back of Oswald’s head his fingers curling against his wet black hair. He knew he shouldn’t be letting him stay with him, not now. He himself was going through quite a lot and couldn’t promise Oswald’s safety, but he knew the Penguin had an endless list of enemies waiting outside for him. It wouldn’t take more than a day for the wrong person to find him in his current condition and end his life, even if a part of Ed said that would be for the best, he couldn’t agree with that. Not fully. There had to be a way he could help him, if Ed could put effort back into his research on Dr. Strange then he was sure he could find what they had been treating Oswald with.

“Perhaps you should go get washed up, I’ll get you clean clothes to wear. You’re more than welcome to my closet until we can get you new clothes.”

Oswald pulled back looking up at him, there were tears in his eyes.

“Thank you, friend, you are truly too kind to me.”

“It’s nothing, really, it’s the least that I can do.”

Ed stepped away from him, he felt this urge to just hold him.

‘You always did love taking care of broken things.’

He tensed at the voice, at the mocking laughter that followed it and echoed in his brain. 

Oswald took hold of Ed’s right hand squeezing gently, the feeling sent an odd comforting warmth through him. 

“Thank you, if it weren’t for you I’d have nowhere to go.”

Ed swallowed hard around the sudden lump in his throat, he found himself rubbing his thumb over Oswald’s knuckles. 

“Perhaps I can order us some take out and we can catch up on some things.”

“I-I would like that, thank you.” Oswald pulled his hand away from Ed’s gentle grip.

He turned going towards the bathroom, he gave one more glance back at Ed before closing the door behind him. Ed waited until he heard water running, then he turned his attentions onto his black suited self that stood in the corner grinning madly at him.

“Little first date moment?” He mocked stepping closer towards Ed.

“Shut up, what are you doing here?”

His other self rolled his eyes, “We had an agreement and I told you to kick him out, but what’s that? He’s in our bathroom taking a shower.”

“He doesn’t have anywhere else to go and we owe him.”

“We owe him, for what? We found him bleeding to death in the woods, we brought him back here and patched up his wounds, he put a knife to our throat, we coddled him and worked him through his mommy issues. It isn’t our damn fault that he went and got himself arrested, we’re lucky if he doesn’t drag us down with him.” He yelled pointing a finger at Ed as he inched closer.

Ed found himself backing away until his back hit against the wall.

He felt his heart thudding against his chest, he was sweating and shaking, he couldn’t deal with this right now. Ed closed his eyes tightly and began counting down from one hundred.

There was no way he was going to throw Oswald out into the cold, not in his current condition. He should have done more for him to begin with, he should have found something on Strange. Perhaps if Ed killed Jim Gordon that would justify what was happening with Oswald, he knew Gordon was doing his best to pin Theo’s death fully on Oswald. The good cop couldn’t take the blame for ending a man’s life so he blamed it on somebody who wouldn’t stand a chance in hell in the courtroom.

Ed opened his eyes and found himself alone, he could hear humming from the bathroom as well as the sound of the shower.

He needed to keep himself together, both parts of himself. He knew it was a struggle that he could never fully win, so long as he and his other self weren’t agreeing on something there would be conflict. Having Oswald around was already starting a tear in their little lapse of peace and agreement, but he was willing to risk it until it became too much. He needed to give him asylum, needed to protect him the best that he could, and also figure out a way to cure him. 

Just keep him safe.

That was all he needed to do.


End file.
